Tabloid Edition

Melissa Petro

This really is rather a fun case, that of Melissa Petro and her job as a teacher in the New York school system.

Hooker-turned-teacher Melissa Petro yesterday admitted she knew her sex-for-hire past would land her in detention.

"Didn't you see this coming?" fellow Bronx teacher Ruben Brosbe asked Petro via Facebook after her sordid former sideline was revealed in The Post.

"We talked about it on the first day of training," Brosbe reminded his pal.

"Of course I saw it coming," the feisty Petro, a third-year art teacher at PS 70, wrote back.

Brosbe and Petro declined comment yesterday.

But Petro -- who has been reassigned amid an Education Department probe of her blogging about her exploits as a "former sex worker" -- joked on Facebook about how she hoped a car outside was a teachers-union escort and not "one of the 200 creepy dudes now trying to 'friend' me."

Let's go back to the beginning. Ms. Petro worked, before she trained as a teacher, as both a stripper and an escort. Escort as in the less repulsive name for a hooker. Not something I partake of myself but nor is it something that I think others shouldn't partake of nor supply. And certainly if someone has done such and then decided that they want to change careers well, why not?

Teaching might be a slightly odd choice but then again so what?

Where it all gets really fun is that Petro was blogging this story, even as she was working the three yeasr she had to to gain tenure as a teacher. During this three years her references, character and so on are supposed to be checked out so that it can be seen as just and righteous that she does gain tenure: essentially, that she cannot be fired.

But of course, given that she was writing publicly about tall of this, it turns out that, for yes, she has just been granted tenure, no one was in fact checking references and character.

The egg is on hte school system here, not on Ms. Petro's unconventional former career.

Fantasia Barrino sextape

Quite why people keep making these sextapes I'm not quite sure. The latest celebrity to get caught out by her penchant for filming the two backed beast is Fantasia Barrino. She was a winner of American Idol way back when.

She's supposedly been seeing a married man and now his wife is suing for divorice. But the problem with the Fantasia Barrino sex tape is that if it does exist and it doers turn up in evidence in the case then:

The fun part about all of this is that if the Fantasia sextape actually exists, and can be shown in court, then it will the evidence needed to show that she is a "homewrecker". And in North Catolina that's just what is needed for the soon to be ex-wife to get not only alimony but some of Fantasia's assets too.

It just doesn't seem worth these sorts of complications, having a sex tape lying around, but people seem to keep making them. There's no news as yet as to whether she was wearing crotchless panties or not but no doubt as and when the tape does surface we'll find out.

Female Viagra

I do have to admit that I don't really understand one of the comments in this newspaper article. No, I really don't quite get it. For it seems to assume that only men enjoy the existence of Viagra itself: which seems a very strange thing to be thinking:

Currently, the sexual drugs available in the market are all for the benefit of men, but women seeking an enhancement of their sex lives can now begin to see some hope.

After reviving the sex life of millions of men for years, the little blue pill will now help stimulate sexual arousal in women.

Do you see what I mean?

Yes, of course, I agree, Viagra stimulates the sexual response in men, this is most certainly true. But that's not quite the same thing as saying that only men enjoy the stimulation of that response....or that engendering that response is purely for the benefit of men.

Quite the opposite in fact I would have thought. Yes, yes, of course I realise that female sexuality is a more complex thing than male but the whole point of Viagra is that it makes it possible to actually have sex: something which, if the stories are to be believed, women enjoy just as much as men do.

That this new pill might do something else for women might well be true: but the idea that the original little blue pill only benefits men seems most odd indeed.

Those Jesse James Sex Tapes

There's a wonderful set of rumours going around about Jesse James (Sandra Bullock's husband, at least for the present) and the possible existence of a series of sex tapes. At one count there are as many as 12 of these tapes made with various girlfriends and mistresses.

What really amused me about these stopries about Jesse James Sex Tapes is that as a sideline I somtimes feed stories to one of the tabloid newspapers in the UK. So when I spotted the first blog posts with hte Jesse James sex tape romours I contacted them and asked if they were interested in my doing some more research.

Their answer was interesting: they'd heard the rumours but weren't going to touch them at all. Despite the way in which it's typical tabloid fodder. For one of the rumours is that one of those tapes is in fact a Sandra Bullock sex tape. Now whether this is in fact true is entirely unknown...I emphasise that it's a rumour, nothing else.....but it has Jesse James and Sanda Bullock in a position that might be described as, well, a tad unconventional and also features a shotgun.

What concerned the tabloid was that it might have been the shotgun in that unconventional position, not just Mr. James.

Brooke Hundley

Now this is most unkind to Brooke Hundley. She is/was the ESPN production assistant that Steve Phillips had an affair with back in the summer.

You may recall that Hundley though that Steve was going to leave his wife for her....yeah, right. She turned up at the marital home and was sending texts to the wife and getting all bunny boiler.

Well, OK, so far, but it's this next part that Steve Phillips is doing wihch definitely marks him down as no gentleman. Both he and Hundley lost their jobs over the affair. He then declared that he had "sex addiction" and took himself off to the same place Tiger has just come out of.

You see, this way he's not just an ageing and famous man who can get his end away with a young woman. This way he's ill, d'ye see? And people are not responsible for their illnesses.

Why is this unkind to Brooke Hundley? Well, look at it this way. You're a young woman, you've been sweet talked into bed by an older man, possibly led on a little.

And when he's caught he says that he was only attracted to you because he was ill.

Woo yeah, way to build confidence in people, eh?

Crazy Ambien Sex

One of the things that Racel Uchitel said, about having "crazy Ambien sex" with Tiger Woods seems to have got a few people puzzled.

How can something that puts you to sleep make for good sex? Surely it will just lead to good snoring?

Well, yes and no, for people are forgetting what is the limiting factor to good sex:

So, given all of this, what is going to be the limiting factor (assuming everything else is constant, like the two people actually desire to have sex with each other and so on) as to how much fun there's going to be in one incidence of sex? Correct, it's going to be how long the man can keep going before he orgasms and needs that recuperation break.

At which point we can see that a drug which reduces arousal in a male can indeed lead to much better sex. As long as basic arousal (ie, an erection) is achieved, for maximum fun and pleasure we want less, not more sensitivity, less not more arousal.

Of course, it was an economist who came up with this answer, not a sex expert and most certainly not a drug expert.

For of course, economists know all!

Cori Rist on the Today show

So Cori Rist went on the Today show to talk about her relationship with Tiger Woods.

Yes, we saw all the usual sort of things in such an internview. Tears when she insisted that he really loved her. Then more tears as she realised that she wasn't the only one Tiger had been folling around with.

Sigh, I mean, come on, let's be realistic about this. If you're an ex-hooker (perhaps ex-escort is more accurate for those who make the distinction) then you must realise that if a guy is happy to jump into one bed that's not his wife's then he'll be happy enough to do it with two or more?

A weeping blonde model claimed yesterday that she ended her affair with Tiger Woods after she woke in the middle of the night to find him texting other mistresses. Cori Rist, 31, who has a seven-year-old son, said she had initially believed the billionaire golfer when he told her that his marriage was on the rocks. And she thought she was the only 'other woman' in his life - until she caught him secretly sending texts while he was in bed with her.

You can see the full video of the Cori Rist Today interview here.

Theresa Rogers: the 11th or 14th for Tiger?

It's getting very hard to really keep track of how many women Tiger Woods has been bedding really, isn't it? Do we count those who have come out and admitted it? Like Holly Sampson? Or should we include those we're pretty sure did but who haven't actually said they did like Rachel Uchitel?

Or those like Theresa Rogers who haven't actually told anyone yet but seem to be grearing up to do so?

A BLONDE in her 40s today claimed to be the latest woman linked to disgraced golfer Tiger Woods. Busty Theresa Rogers is said to have travelled with the golf pro during a steamy FIVE year affair. It was claimed Rogers began a relationship with Woods before he wed wife Elin Nordergren, 29, but the affair continued after their marriage.

She's hired Gloria Allread which seems to be a sign of something these days.....

Holly Sampson and Tiger Woods

Yes, it does seem that Tiger Woods has been spreading it around, now he's being linked to a porn star called Holly Sampson.

Holly Sampson has been doing both hardcore and softcore for years: we're not using porn star in the sense of a video or two done while drunk or broke, no, this is her career.

This is a little different from banging the occasional cocktail waitress, don't you think?

However, there's one other point that might be made. Holly Sampson was involved with Tiger Woods before he got married. Not afterwards, like those cocktail waitresses and nightclub managers.

Well, fancy that: it wouldn't be the first time that the professional has better morals than the amateur.

The Copenhagen Conference: now with free sex!

It's this coming week that the Copenhagen Conference takes place. They're all off to sort out the planet for us, make sure that we don't boil everyone to death by using too much carbon fuels and so on. Tens of thousands of delegates descending on the City, of course.

However, the Lord Mayor has been sending around leaflets asking that the delegates not patronise the prostitutes of the city. This might offend Gaia or something?

In reaction, the prostitutes themselves have decided to offer free sex to the delegates:

Now, Copenhagen prostitutes are up in arms, saying that the council has no business meddling in their affairs. They have now offered free sex to anyone who can produce one of the offending postcards and their COP15 identity card, according to the Web site avisen.dk. According to the report, the move has been organized by the Sex Workers Interest Group (SIO). "This is sheer discrimination. Ritt Bjerregaard is abusing her position as Lord Mayor in using her power to prevent us carrying out our perfectly legal job. I don't understand how she can be allowed to contact people in this way," SIO Spokeswoman Susanne Møller tells avisen.dk.

So, what do you think will win out? Morality and Gaia? Or free sex?

This story is winging its way around the internet at the moment, but not via the usual methods. Rather, it seems to be passing from blog to blog through their networks of readers. Viral, rather than search engine if you wish. This might make a useful case study for those interested in search engine marketing services , that there are a number of different ways that stories get spread.