Alessija Dorfmann

Alessija Dorfmann...well, it's cruel to laugh, but she seems to have got caught up in the great self-improvement scam and found that it means that she cannot actually take the job she's always wanted. For, you see, what Alessija Dorfmann did was go and get a tit job (to a fairly impressive D cup size) and this means that she cannot now join the Army.

Alessija Dorfmann, 23, said: “I am devastated. It has always been my dream to be a soldier and have a great figure. “Now my fake boobs have cost me my job.” She has appealed against the ruling by top brass in Hamburg, Germany, who said implants increased risk of injury.

Actually, she's a nurse, which would have been interesting:

A RECRUIT was kicked out of the German army after she had a boob job. Alessija Dorfmann said she wanted to be an army nurse. She added: "I'm devastated – it has always been my dream to be a soldier and have a great figure – now my fake boobs have cost me my job."

You know those fob watches that nurses wear on their chests....would it be above or below the outcrop? Fortunately the decision is now under review:

A female recruit is appealing after she was kicked out of army training in Germany for having breast implants. Alessija Dorfmann, 23, who has a D cup after the operation, said: "I am devastated - it has always been my dream to be a soldier and have a great figure - and now my fake boobs have cost me my job. "I could not stop crying when they told me. I wanted to work as an army medic and help save lives." The brunette who earned the money for the boob job working as a carer in an OAP's home before joining the army has now appealed the ruling - and military chiefs have pledged to review the situation.

You know, I think I can feel a military inspection coming on. Just, umm, what is it that they're going to be inspecting?