Pie for life!

Woo Hoo! this sounds like a great idea, pie for life....from Royers Round Top Cafe in Texas.

Yes, that's right, pie for life, not one of these minor league little offers like a pie a month for only a measly 12 months. You can indeed sign up to get a pie a month for the rest of your life: pie for life, as the offer says.

It's here at Royers Round Top Cafe. Actually, this is pie for life.

The idea is really very simple. You sign up now...and pay now....and they will send you pie for life. One pie each and every month for the rest of your life. Now obviously, there are different likely number of years that we're all going to live. So the older you are the cheaper pie for life is. The younger you are the more expensive pie for life is: hey, they may be great bakers at Royers Round Top Cafe but they ain't ignerant of statistics and life expectancy.

Here's how pie for life works out financially:

All pies retail individually for $23.50, except for the Sin-Nammon Ring, which is $24.50. Shipping is $11.95, in state. If your humble author lives to her natural expectancy, that is, 80.1 years for females in Texas*, I have approximately 651 monthly pies left in me.

Assuming a 3% inflation rate, buying those pies retail would cost somewhere around $60,188. However, if I buy them all today, Royers will charge me a mere $26,750 for the privilege of eating a pie a month. That's a lifetime savings of $33,438**! While it may be likely that eating that much pie might, in fact, significantly shorten one's lifespan and thus help things out on Royers' end, we are going to assume you are generous souls, will spread the artery-clogging love around, live to a ripe old age, and that thus the pie-for-life deal is simply a lot of free pie.

Which leads to an uncomfortable conclusion: the best way to make out over the pie for life deal is to sign up for it: but to then give all of the pie away. That way you're maximising your lifespan and thus the number of pies you're getting....but really, would that be worth it? A pie every month but none for you?