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December 05, 2006
Elf N'Safety
You know I'm not quite sure why the late great county of Yorkshire consents to remain in the Union.
Organisers of a village Christmas party have been told they must carry out a risk assessment of their mince pies - or their festivities will be cancelled.
Council bosses say posters will have to be displayed at the party in Embsay, in the Yorkshire Dales, warning villagers the pies contain nuts and suet pastry.
The cocoa content and temperature of the hot chocolate must also be checked.
Perhaps they too have become enfeebled by the depredations of our ruling class, the jobsworth. In any free nation such demands would have been followed by rope, tree, bureaucrat, some assembly may be required.
December 5, 2006 in The English | Permalink
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Comments
Fuckwits! But we're the bigger fools for putting up with this crap. Why aren't we doing something about it? If I were these organisers I think I'd launch some sort of action against the council for unreasonable behaviour. Can anything be done to stop the rot?
Posted by: MarkS | Dec 5, 2006 11:50:34 AM
What's new? The real surprise would be if there were public warnings about taking care when stealing copper on the railways or engaging in neighbourhood burglary expeditions. Instance this:
"RECKLESS thieves are risking their lives to steal copper cable carrying up to 1,000 volts from railway tracks around Leeds. Crime hotspots include Knottingley, Castleford and Pontefract, with trains from Leeds to Wakefield affected as gangs rip up hundreds of miles of cable, leaving thousands of passengers stranded for a total of three months and costing Network Rail around £8million over the past year. . . 'On one occasion we had the main route between Yorkshire and Leeds closed for a whole morning.' Detective Chief Inspector Danny Snee of British Transport Police (BTP) said West and South Yorkshire had the most incidents of copper cable theft across the UK, with 182 cases in West Yorkshire since April 1."
http://thisisleeds.co.uk/ViewArticle2.aspx?SectionID=39&ArticleID=1909194
"VIOLENT crime in Yorkshire soared by nine per cent last year – more than anywhere else in the country – and the region is now the burglary capital of the UK."
http://www.yorkshiretoday.co.uk/ViewArticle2.aspx?SectionID=55&ArticleID=1639620
For the latest instalment of the unending Doncaster saga, try this:
http://www.yorkshiretoday.co.uk/ViewArticle2.aspx?SectionID=55&ArticleID=1914115
Posted by: Bob B | Dec 5, 2006 1:06:26 PM
"RECKLESS thieves are risking their lives to steal copper cable carrying up to 1,000 volts from railway tracks around Leeds."
Turn the voltage up, I say.
Posted by: MarkS | Dec 5, 2006 1:59:54 PM
'On one occasion we had the main route between Yorkshire and Leeds closed for a whole morning.' He sounds as though he's proud of it
Posted by: tyke | Dec 5, 2006 2:22:44 PM
How far is it between Yorkshire and Leeds?
Posted by: J | Dec 5, 2006 2:46:25 PM
You should go to the event with a can of peanuts and run around shouting "peanuts I've got peanuts hahahahahahahahah!!!!" Then for good measure throw them at people all crazy like. Be sure to have an escape route planned and a get-a-way car as you will most likely be shot for such 'dangerous' behaviour.
Alternatively, you could go and "have an episode" upon your first sip of the hot chocolate. Be sure to completely over react, invest time in this. Fake blood and blisters on your lips and toungue (will require an assistant) will add to the excitment!
Posted by: Ldbug | Dec 5, 2006 6:19:31 PM