David Cameron: Do Well by Doing Good

David Cameron wowed the people at the Conservative Party’s Spring Bonkathon (that is the only reason people go to these party conferences) with this list of the ways in which each individual activist can help to make the world a better place.

1. Take the bus when you can
2. Get to know your neighbours better
3. Pick up one piece of litter from the street everyday
4. Re-use your plastic bags when you go to the shops
5. Switch to energy efficiency light bulbs at home
6. Reduce your thermostat by 2 degrees
7. Support your local shopkeepers
8. Don't overfill your kettle
9. Fill out a donor card
10. Give blood.

Stunning, don’t you think? Let’s try this again with comments:

1. Take the bus when you can

I could go and take the bus right now. Go off to the airport perhaps, maybe downtown Lisbon, Sintra even.  The thing is, right now I don’t actually want to go to any of those places. So how does my taking the bus when I can really help anything at all?

1. Get to know your neighbours better

My wife would have certain objections to becoming any more intimate than I already am with our neighbours. As I would her.

1. Pick up one piece of litter from the street everyday

One piece? The cops’ll put me in jail! Two dogs, two walks a day, minimum 6 per day pooper scooper moments. You mean I should leave the other five where they are and risk the fines?

1. Re-use your plastic bags when you go to the shops

See above. Not many shops like you carrying in used doggie doo bags, into which you are now going to place their finest products. I’ll admit to being not all that keen on the practice myself.

1. Switch to energy efficiency light bulbs at home

Do you actually think that your supporters and activists are morons? I’ll agree that others might think so but you’re not supposed to. If "energy efficiency " (and that should be energy efficient, surely) light bulbs save the punter money then of course the punter will already be using them. If they don’t save the punter money then why should they switch?

1. Reduce your thermostat by 2 degrees

Why 2 o? Why not 4? or 3? or 1.006? More importantly, why do you want me to increase my energy bills by turning up the A/C?

1. Support your local shopkeepers

As, when, and whenever they provide me with that mixture of service, selection, price and convenience that I desire at that point in time. Or am I supposed to stop acting in my own enlightened self interest?

1. Don't overfill your kettle

Reasonable.

1. Fill out a donor card

Similarly

1. Give blood.

Me? Sorry, bad advice, I’d contaminate the supply.

Can we make a better list? Suggestions in the comments.

1) The State is not your friend.
2) Governments and taxation are necessary evils, not desirable aims or goals.
3) Free speech is indivisible.
4) No bloody ID Cards.
.......you get the picture.