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January 24, 2006

Advice for Guido and Monkey.

Blood and Treasure has some extraordinarily good advice for Guido and the Monkey.

And in other news about Oaten Blimpish says:

Crikey, eh - who'd be a Lib Dem? One week you're led by an alcoholic, the next week you find out about Mark Oaten. There remain murmurs about further, rather more damaging revelations possibly to come about those leading the party. I say to my Tory comrades, in all earnestness, that it has been too long since Stephen Milligan, and we're in danger of being outflanked on our own turf here - another cunning defensive strategy by the Lib Dems...

Quite, the Tories really do need to buck up, we need more scandals!

And two jokes on the subject.

January 24, 2006 in Weblogs | Permalink


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Nobody said we were homophobic drunks until Monday. Thursday and Friday some said we were comic geniuses. See:


Something happened on the weekend that gave the leftie Blogosphere a sense-of-humour bypass. Bothered.
Oaten went from crypto-Tory hate-figure, to tabloid viciousness victim as fast as shit off a shovel.

Bloggers with seven readers each telling a card carrying member of the elite new commentariat he's gone too far this time. Huh. Who do they think are?

As they all furtively return to our blogs with their broadband in a brown paper bag...

It's blogging you self-important webmongs. Go back to writing wannabee editorials... give me a drink.

Posted by: Guido Fawkes | Jan 24, 2006 12:58:46 PM

14:57... 14:58... 14:59...

Posted by: Justin | Jan 24, 2006 3:33:51 PM

*wipes tear from eye*

Don't, Guido, you're tugging at my heartstrings. The reason nobody realised you were a frat-boy homophobe until Monday is that nobody listened to your podcast, knowing full well that it would be crap. Until, that is, you hilariously tried to claim a scoop that an amoeba could see was sod all to do with you.

Posted by: Jarndyce | Jan 24, 2006 7:24:28 PM

Guido, old chap - seriously, what's all this "seven readers" nonsense about? If you want a cock-measuring contest then by all means, but try making your own site stats public first - we've only got your word for your "six figures", as you claimed the other day (wildly implausible considering UK blog readerships and the number of sites that link to you according to Technorati, Google and Blogpulse, unless you're talking over the course of a year), and as the last few days have proved, your word is hardly that reliable.

I've found your stuff entertaining in the past, and doubtless I will again, but if you want to continue to be taken at all seriously as a political gossip-monger it's really about time for bit of humility and an admission that you were not the person responsible for the scoop. That's the prime reason the ire has continued to be focussed in your direction.

(Oh, and for the record, I seem to remember expressing similar disgust over the Blunkett affair revelations that booted him out of office the first time, despite hating the guy - and I had and have precisely no opinion of Oaten as a politician. There is nothing political behind my dislike of this story.)

Posted by: Nosemonkey | Jan 24, 2006 8:47:11 PM

Good Oaten jokes. Did you see Lembit Opik on Daily Politics? Interesting creature.

Posted by: icedink | Jan 24, 2006 9:47:09 PM

In Dec I had 164,152 page loads, 108,986 unique visitors according Statcounter.

This month 71,646 / 50,378 so far.

Check Blogpulse and see the blog is curently ranked 810 out of the top 10,000 blogs worldwide by citation. Slightly behind ChickYog and Europhobia. Its varies but it is usually in the top 1000. You know the odd BBC, Instapundit or slashdot link brings in the masses.

You both know I'm not referring to the likes of Chickyog or Europhobia when I refer to the 7-readers-and-a-blog types. You adequately cater for a very different market. But the morons who are flaming me with "you are a homophobe" nonsense are as boring to me as the wannabe serious pundits. Thats just not what I'm interested in achieving with this blog. Guido is pitched unashamedly at the populist end of the market with a mission to cause mischief and amusement.

Frankly the blog does well to have so many citations given I do visual puns and tittle-tattle.

Dry your eyes, lighten up. I can (and do) do the op-ed pages from time to time, but it ain't half as much fun as inciting blowhards.

Posted by: Guido Fawkes | Jan 24, 2006 9:55:15 PM


Isn't it time to send the children to the garden if they are going to start fighting?


Tim adds: Certainly noy. Bit of blood and snot spattered around, decorates a place.

Posted by: The Remittance Man | Jan 25, 2006 8:05:40 AM

Ah! Concept interior decorating. Can't see it catching on myself, but each to his own.


Posted by: The Remittance Man | Jan 25, 2006 8:36:52 AM

That's the itallics problem solved.

My invoice is on its way.

Posted by: Tim Newman | Jan 25, 2006 9:07:14 AM

Bollocks, it didn't work. Invoice filed in the round in-tray on the floor.

Posted by: Tim Newman | Jan 25, 2006 9:08:09 AM

You see what happens when you let the children fight indoors? To paraphrase Ma Remittance: "It's always fun until it turns italic!"


Posted by: The Remittance Man | Jan 25, 2006 9:13:55 AM

>>...a mission to cause mischief and amusement.

Well, you've done poofs, Guido. Is it pakis next?

Posted by: Justin | Jan 25, 2006 3:48:39 PM