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June 10, 2005

What Good News.

Excellent news here.

Children as young as 13 are being advised on oral sex, anal sex, orgasms and being good in bed in a booklet published by the fpa, formerly the Family Planning Association.

Entitled Love, Sex and Relationships, the booklet is aimed at 13- to 16-year-olds, although the legal age of consent is 16, and is being distributed to schools and youth groups.

The booklet advises teenagers how they can tell when they are ready to have sex and contains cartoon characters saying: "I like to touch myself" or "I like to dress up as a girl" and "Does my crotch look big in this?" In the section on oral sex, it says: "Many people enjoy it; others aren't interested. Often called a 'blow job' when done to a man and 'going down' when done to a woman."

Another section, on anal sex, says: "Many gay men never have anal sex. You can be straight, gay or bisexual. Some people enjoy it; others aren't interested."

Posing the question "How can I be good at sex?", it says: "No one is born sexually experienced and most of the fun is in learning. Talk to your partner. Ask what they like."

I can’t tell you how grateful I am to the fpa for providing this information and training to the young.  As a middle aged man who has the mid-life crisis, when I run off and start chasing teenage totty, pencilled into the diary for a couple of years time, it is quite wonderful to know that said totty will be both experienced and amenable to further suggestion.

Thanks guys!

June 10, 2005 in The Blogger Himself | Permalink


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I wouldn't be so sure about that, Tim. With all the confidence that knowledge and understanding of choice offers, I wouldn't be surprised if said young totty were capable of telling you that they don't do old men.

Posted by: mrs mcmuffin | Jun 10, 2005 8:12:43 AM

Ooh, that's completely buggered (no pun intended) my future chasing of adolescent skirt when I hit my midlife crisis. When we were all fifteen, they weren't interested. Now they'll all have bloody GCSEs in sex and that will be a dreadful buzzkill, I can tell you.

Posted by: David Gillies | Jun 10, 2005 8:20:20 AM

>I wouldn't be surprised if said young totty were capable of telling you that they don't do old men.

..thus freeing Tim up for old Mrs McMuffin, who by then is also getting a bit bored and frisky.

Posted by: Tidbits | Jun 10, 2005 8:37:53 AM

There was an episode of the west wing (yes yes I know it's not real...) where a similar organisation published a report proving that teenagers who were taught that oral sex and masturbation were safe, clean, fun and not sinful were less likely to get STDs or pregnant. Life follows art.

In North Carolina, an orgy is legally defined as eight people in a room with their shoes off and their feet off the floor. And a brothel is more than two women living in a house together without a man. So I've lived in a brothel and participated in a lot of orgies. It's a good conversation starter at parties.

Tim adds: Sooo, let’s see. Orgies, brothels, painted toenails, likes pub quizes (I’ve been reading your blog you know)....hmm, sounds just right for that mid-life crisis.
Ah, wait, 22. No, overage I fear.

Posted by: Katie | Jun 10, 2005 9:15:05 AM

Commenters above are correct; part of the specific purpose of starting sex education so young is to ensure that young girls have the knowledge and confidence to tell dirty old men to get lost :-)

Posted by: dsquared | Jun 10, 2005 10:03:50 AM

As a PS, to cover my crushing shame at being rejected, it is noteworthy that the country with the lowest teenage birth rate (7/1000 instead of 32/1000 in UK) in europe also happens to not have a nationally mandated sex ed programme.

To quote: "Dutch teachers approach sexuality issues with their students, no matter what subject they teach, and sexuality education is integrated into many school courses." Bet it makes double chemistry a lot more fun...

Posted by: Katie | Jun 10, 2005 11:11:51 AM

Further to Katie's statistic, I wonder to what degree the teenage birth rate in various countries corresponds with the level of benefit available.

Posted by: The Weasel Bearder | Jun 10, 2005 12:11:20 PM

North Carolina is not really a good benchmark for anything. And perhaps Dutch men are smoking too much pot to be having sex - or maybe it causes impotence?

Posted by: Monjo | Jun 10, 2005 2:08:20 PM

Dutch young people are appreciably less frequent cannabis users than either their British or American counterparts.

I suspect it's to do with not fetishising (for good or ill) something which is fundamentally only a plant that makes your head go fuzzy.

Posted by: john b | Jun 10, 2005 3:44:56 PM

North Carolina is where it's all happening.

It's ranked number one for urban growth, and in terms of quality of life (RTP, biotech and computing, major banking HQs, low crime, three top universities, great school systems, high immigration and relocation stats...)

I have a friend in recruitment who gets a handful of phone calls a day saying "I just moved here without a job. I heard this is the place to be. What can you do for me?"

And we kick arse at basketball. And it's easy to have an orgy.

Posted by: Katie | Jun 11, 2005 1:06:31 PM

Minor downer: wake county based on abstinence only sex ed. With corresponding high teen pregnancy rate.

Posted by: Katie | Jun 11, 2005 1:08:48 PM

Yes indeed. Dutch kids are far more interested in alcopops than marijuana.

Posted by: Bill Preston | Jun 11, 2005 1:09:04 PM

Yes indeed. Dutch kids are far more interested in alcopops than marijuana.

Posted by: Bill Preston | Jun 11, 2005 1:09:32 PM