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September 04, 2007

Eureka!

Finally, after all of these years, I've discovered what's wrong with me. Seriously, decades of tests were not able to come up with the reason(s) why I've been living a nightmare: listless, uncaring, the world always seeming to be several degrees out of kilter.

Finally, I've now been able to find out why this was, there's a name been found for my dire disease. BDD.

Beer Deficiency Disorder.

The cure is harsh, distasteful even, and given the paucity of vision of our bureaucratically driven health care system will need to be entirely private sector funded, the local prescription house being known to charge as much as €5 for a mere one day supply.

Still, one must do what one must to make the most of this one and only passage through this world so I shall simply have to suck it up and take my medicine. It's not so much for me, of course, but my wife. All the time we didn't know what was wrong she's been worried sick herself but now we've found the cure she's overjoyed that a simple 90 minutes a day is all that treatment will take.

We're very lucky too that there's a treatment centre just at the end of the road. It's all planned now, every evening, around 6.30 pm, I shall wrap up well and take an improving volume with me to while away the time as the medication takes effect. She's promised not to sniffle as she gives me the € 5 euro note from her housekeeping and waves me off and she'll be assuaging her worries by cooking a sumptous feast for us to share upon my return.

Life is, I agree, harsh, but you do have to do the best you can, don't you?

September 4, 2007 in The Blogger Himself | Permalink

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Comments

Tis to be hoped she doesn't call for a second opinion.

Posted by: Anthony North | Sep 4, 2007 3:25:20 PM

On occasion, the excuses you fellows come up with beggar belief. I salute you for the preposterousness of this particular example.

Posted by: The Aunt | Sep 4, 2007 6:13:01 PM

I'll drink to that.

Posted by: Bob | Sep 4, 2007 9:47:22 PM

We used to say that someone was "born a pint below par".

Posted by: dearieme | Sep 5, 2007 10:52:00 PM

Shortly, there will doubtless be an end to criminal responsibility, probably followed not long thereafter by an end to accountability for anything.

Any and all socially unacceptable behaviour will be confidently and reliably attributed on the basis of recent compelling research findings either to dietary deficiencies or to dietary additives, when not to other environmental factors such as upbringing, schooling, globalisation, the pernicious influence of the internet, global warming or the prospect of a new glacial period. Something will surely have to be banned - the only remaining unresolved question is: what?

Posted by: Bob B | Sep 6, 2007 9:11:05 AM