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March 28, 2007
Smaller Chocolate Bars!
Yes! The solution! Our Glorious Food Standards Agency has decided! We can beat childhood obesity by insisting that chocolate bars are made smaller!
Plans to shrink the size of chocolate bars, crisp packets and other snacks were unveiled yesterday by the Government's food watchdog in a bid to tackle obesity in Britain.
How lucky we are to have a government, a bureaucracy, that swallows 45% of everything we produce so that they can provide us with such glorious answers to these tough problems! All Hail The State!
One slight problem. We have recently been told that childhood obesity is not in fact caused by the eating of too many sweets and crisps.
He said that surveys and food production statistics suggested that total calorie intakes had not increased.
So, err, if calorie intake has not increased, it isn't increased calorie intake causing the problem. It's reduced exercise causing it. So the solution is not reduced size choccie bars, it's more exercise.
Wonder why the Food Standards Agency doesn't do something about that then? Well, obviously, they're a bureaucracy in charge of food standards, not exercise standards. Going about giving the right answer (make the little bastards play games) doesn't give the bureaucracy anything to do and thus won't be something recommended by said bureaucracy.
That's why we pay 45% of everything produced in the country to our Lords and Masters.
March 28, 2007 in Food and Drink | Permalink
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Comments
So what happens when people buy two?
I suppose the government will then bring in ration cards to stop that.
It's enough to make you want to hit the Victory Gin.
Posted by: Tim almond | Mar 28, 2007 9:37:47 AM
So what happens when people buy two?
I suppose the government will then bring in ration cards to stop that.
It's enough to make you want to hit the Victory Gin.
Posted by: Tim almond | Mar 28, 2007 9:39:06 AM
So what happens when people buy two?
I suppose the government will then bring in ration cards to stop that.
It's enough to drive you to the Victory Gin.
Posted by: Tim almond | Mar 28, 2007 9:40:22 AM
...and the crowd say "bo selecta!"
Posted by: sanbikinoriaon | Mar 28, 2007 9:54:19 AM
Of course business will love this, they won't lower prices by much (if at all).
Nice profits there for them.
Then of course outrage so government must do something and wastes money on an inquiry, which of course does not point the finger at the state's roll in all this...
Posted by: Tristan Mills | Mar 28, 2007 10:02:07 AM
Never mind the fact that almost every chocolate bar on the market has got progressively smaller over the last ten years. Seen a 'Lion' bar recently? Cub more like.
Posted by: Andrew Paterson | Mar 28, 2007 11:55:27 AM
All Hail The State!
*wheeze*
Hey, seeing as all the little tubbers aren't getting enough exercise, we clearly need our beloved leaders to step in with some kind of compulsory after-school club - we could call it the Blair Youth.
Posted by: Barry Bethel | Mar 28, 2007 12:19:21 PM
It's enough to make you want to hit the Victory Gin.
The free market (Thresher, in this case) has made that possible.
Posted by: knirirr | Mar 28, 2007 3:50:06 PM
The Food Standards Agency has just gone on the ever-growing list of bodies that will be closed down, their staff sacked and their paperwork shredded the moment I come to power.
Posted by: David Gillies | Mar 28, 2007 9:21:26 PM
