June 17, 2005
A little competition for the weekend. We shall play "The two things about everything".
The aim is to take some area of knowledge, any area, and boil it down to the two things that you really need to know about it. Two things that encapsulate, as far as is possible, the full wisdom and experience of the field. As an example, economics:
1) Incentives matter.
Or in a more puerile manner, psychiatry:
1) All people are nuts some of the time.
2) Some people are nuts all of the time.
1) Write about what you know.
2) Do not follow rule 1 if you write for the Guardian or Independent.
I can’t remember where I stole this game from (well, I can remember how to find out but am too lazy this morning) but if you know of other sites that have played this game please do provide the links.
Winners Tuesday. Maybe.
Update. We’re getting some fun entries in the comments....and I remembered where the game came from. Glen Whitman. Except he played it seriously.
Many more here.
John Dale has joined in.
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1. You can tax and spend your way to economic growth
2. Nanny knows best and don't you forget it son!
Posted by: Patrick W | Jun 17, 2005 10:25:18 AM
1. I'll make a whole lot of noise about public sector reform
2. I'll actually do fuck all about public sector reform
Posted by: Patrick W | Jun 17, 2005 10:27:50 AM
1. Desire nothing
2. ....didn't you read rule number 1...
Posted by: Patrick W | Jun 17, 2005 10:29:33 AM
1. Beautiful country
2. Full of wankers
Posted by: Patrick W | Jun 17, 2005 10:30:37 AM
1. Just buy a 1911
2. With standard 230 grain FMJ ammo
Posted by: Patrick W | Jun 17, 2005 10:33:13 AM
1. That was yummy
2. Is there any more?
Posted by: Patrick W | Jun 17, 2005 10:34:57 AM
1. We have a moral obligation to provide for the poor, needy, repressed and unfortunate.
2. Have you tried the durum wheat ciabattas with sun dried tomato tapenade at Gordon Ramsay's - it's to die for.
Posted by: Patrick W | Jun 17, 2005 10:42:00 AM
Very much a blogger's take on psychiatry, there, Tim. Here's mine:
1. Lithium works
2. If you commit a crime it means that you're mad
and, companion piece, my own job:
1. Frederick Crews is right;
2. Life's a bitch, but it isn't necessarily the sort of bitch you think it is, and anyway, it isn't personal.
Posted by: James Hamilton | Jun 17, 2005 11:21:06 AM
1. The world is getting warmer
2. It's all our fault
Posted by: Ed Snack | Jun 17, 2005 11:26:08 AM
Ed Snack: you've missed a trick:
1. Fly to Edinburgh to complain about Global Warming
2. It really IS our fault...
1. If it moves and it shouldn't use duct tape
2. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40
Related, but for the Army:
1. If it moves salute it
2. If it doesn't, paint it.
Posted by: Hew BG | Jun 17, 2005 11:35:35 AM
Shouldn't that be:
1. The world is getting warmer
2. It's all George Bush's fault
Posted by: Patrick W | Jun 17, 2005 11:38:34 AM
Posted by: Matthew | Jun 17, 2005 11:42:10 AM
Libertarian blog comments:
1. The arse is the bend in your arm
2. The elbow is the part you sit on.
Posted by: dsquared | Jun 17, 2005 11:42:33 AM
1) me me me
2) me iraq me
Posted by: Katie | Jun 17, 2005 2:14:42 PM
Choose your own subject.
Posted by: Hew BG | Jun 17, 2005 2:14:51 PM
Clause 1: This Agreement has two clauses.
Clause 2: Notwithstanding the terms of Clause 1, this Agreement shall be governed by the terms of Clause 3.
Posted by: Arthur Seat | Jun 17, 2005 2:41:10 PM
1. Balancing Items
2. Our fee note is payable on presentation
Posted by: Arthur Seat | Jun 17, 2005 2:43:58 PM
1) Laws, especially EU and traffic related ones, are for other people
2) It is impossible to eat lunch in less than an hour
1) It must be testable
2) when heated, if it fizzes and smokes then it's Chemistry, if it hops and squeals then it's biology and if it does nothing then it's physics
Posted by: Francis | Jun 17, 2005 2:46:55 PM
1) If your surname + subject + either: [ray, blaster or devastator] sounds great then your career will go somewhere. e.g. Pauli exclusion principle blaster, Bose-Einstein condensate ray & non-relativistic Green-Schwarz superstring devastator.
2) Noone will understand a word you say.
Posted by: Rob Read | Jun 17, 2005 3:27:12 PM
First Law: you can't win.
Second Law: you can't break even.
(I wish it were original.)
Tim adds: Third Law. You can’t leave the game.
Posted by: dearieme | Jun 17, 2005 4:31:33 PM
1. Your program will spend 90% of its time in 10% of the code (Amdahl's Law)
2. Premature optimisation is the root of all evil (Knuth's Law)
Posted by: David Gillies | Jun 17, 2005 6:21:14 PM
1. I always write perfect code.
2. That crash was Microsoft's fault.
Posted by: Nik | Jun 18, 2005 1:30:52 AM
1) It's a crying shame how much of the CAP/how long a lunch hour/how much sex with beautiful women in kinky underwear those smelly wankers get.
2) I wish I were living in France...
Posted by: Katie | Jun 19, 2005 7:09:47 PM
1) There is no such thing as "proper" English: as long as one other person understands you, you are a "speech community.
2) Except those buggers from Glasgow, wtf are they on about?
Posted by: Katie | Jun 19, 2005 7:14:35 PM
Oh, OK - a couple more from me before the judging:
1. Bandwidth is infinite
2. Response times are zero
1. Your network can't cope.
2. Your servers can't cope.
Posted by: Hew BG | Jun 21, 2005 8:45:57 AM