Tabloid Edition

Hairdressing in Chalfont PA

If you happen to be looking for a full service salon Chalfont PA might be a reasonable place to go. Well, as long as you're in that general area of course, flying across the Atlantic to do so would be a little extreme. But Tony D's is there and they offer you just about everything that you could want from such a salon.

For example, their hair salon chalfont color service will see you right for all of your hair coloring needs. They not only do the basic coloring, they'll also offer you cap hi lighting and foil hi lighting at very reasonable prices.

As the hair salon Chalfont bith wants and needs if you're in the area it might be worth your checking out what they can do for you. And yes, they do nails, waxes and even therapeutic massages as well.

Holly Sampson and Tiger Woods

Yes, it does seem that Tiger Woods has been spreading it around, now he's being linked to a porn star called Holly Sampson.

Holly Sampson has been doing both hardcore and softcore for years: we're not using porn star in the sense of a video or two done while drunk or broke, no, this is her career.

This is a little different from banging the occasional cocktail waitress, don't you think?

However, there's one other point that might be made. Holly Sampson was involved with Tiger Woods before he got married. Not afterwards, like those cocktail waitresses and nightclub managers.

Well, fancy that: it wouldn't be the first time that the professional has better morals than the amateur.

Zhu Zhu Pets recall over antimony

There's a little scare going on about Zhu Zhu Pets, those mechanical hamsters that are apparently the must have gift this Christmas.

They've been made, or at least one of the different colours has, using antimony. And as ew all know antimony is poisonous.

Arrrgh!

Actually, there's a decent piece here on Zhu Zhu petra and antimony.

You see, antimony is poisonous, yes, but then so is water. It really depends upon what the dose is, for as Paracelsus told us, the poison is the dose.

And we know what the safe limit for antimony is: 60 ppm. Well, actually, that's about 100 th of what we think the safe dose is, because that's the way that we set safe doses.

The Zhu Zhu pets are at about 120 ppm. That is, 2% of the safe dose instead of 1%.

Woo, scary, ain't it?

Time for a picnic basket

There's an old joke about how a movie would get its rating. Imagine a group of people going off into the woods for a picnic. If they took a picnic basket and then sat down and ate a picnic then this was a movie that anyone could watch, from the kiddies who must be protected all the way up to maiden aunts. If after the picnic they had a little snooze on the blanket, well, fine. However, if the snooze afterwards turned into something a little more athletic then matters changed. If they got under the blanket and did some petting, then of course the kiddies should be excluded. If the petting took place upon the balnket then so should the teenagers (and maiden aunts should bewarned off as well).

If, however, our group goes into the woods with the sole aim and intention of doing the petting (a euphemism, you understand) and there is a marked absence of picnic baskets or even blankets, then the assumption would be that the movie was an X at least. A fair enough rule of thumb really but sadly I now find myself at the time of life when picnics entail very much the basket, the blanket and the nap: and I'm not all that sure I can persuade a group to share even that, let alone petting above or beneath a covering.

Thus it's probably time to accept the old tempus fugit bit and invest in one of these gourmet picnic baskets. If all I'm going to get from a walk in the woods is a lunch then it should be a decent lunch and one served properly, don't you think? With a proper glass for that which revives and no messing around with paper plates and the like? I can't help thinking that the ways of my younger days were in some manner somewhat more exciting but then that's just what happens as one ages: and as has often been remarked, getting older is vastly preferable to the only alternative on offer.

So, the Teddy Bear's picnic it is then.

The Copenhagen Conference: now with free sex!

It's this coming week that the Copenhagen Conference takes place. They're all off to sort out the planet for us, make sure that we don't boil everyone to death by using too much carbon fuels and so on. Tens of thousands of delegates descending on the City, of course.

However, the Lord Mayor has been sending around leaflets asking that the delegates not patronise the prostitutes of the city. This might offend Gaia or something?

In reaction, the prostitutes themselves have decided to offer free sex to the delegates:

Now, Copenhagen prostitutes are up in arms, saying that the council has no business meddling in their affairs. They have now offered free sex to anyone who can produce one of the offending postcards and their COP15 identity card, according to the Web site avisen.dk. According to the report, the move has been organized by the Sex Workers Interest Group (SIO). "This is sheer discrimination. Ritt Bjerregaard is abusing her position as Lord Mayor in using her power to prevent us carrying out our perfectly legal job. I don't understand how she can be allowed to contact people in this way," SIO Spokeswoman Susanne Møller tells avisen.dk.

So, what do you think will win out? Morality and Gaia? Or free sex?

This story is winging its way around the internet at the moment, but not via the usual methods. Rather, it seems to be passing from blog to blog through their networks of readers. Viral, rather than search engine if you wish. This might make a useful case study for those interested in search engine marketing services , that there are a number of different ways that stories get spread.

Tiger Woods is up to eight girlfriends now

Oh my, this Tiger Woods scandal is the story which just keeps on giving, isn't it just?

The news today is that Tiger Woods had rather more girlfriends than were at first suspected. Rather than the three that we think we know about, there might be as many as eight! Yes, that's right eight Tiger Woods girlfriends:

The list of alleged girlfriends now includes Rachel Uchitel (who denies it all), Jaimee Grubbs (who claims it is true but Tiger Woods hasn't admitted so), Kalika Moquin (who denies everything), The unnamed British TV presenter, a "cougar" that Woods met in a Florida bar (the story is that they would "romp" in his office), a trailer trash neighbour  and two more party girls he met on nights out in Vegas.

It's remarkable that he had the energy to father two children on his wife really.

Still, at least there's one thing we know about this now. There's a huge difference (of course, both are infidelity) between having sex on tap while you're travelling around the place and having an emotional affair with someone. Yes, I know, some won't see it that way but many others do.

Hanging up the hammock

Yes, I think it is time that I got myself one of these outdoor hammocks. It's about time for a little boys' toy I think. Partly it's because of a Naval background: there's always been something about the stories of using them at sea which I've heard which makes me interested in them. Not having to use one in a room packed with thrity other men snoring away the night would be a benefit, of course. Just as not having to use one in a ship violently corkscrewing its way through the oceans of the world would be (why do you think I didn't continue the family Naval tradition? Yes, like Nelson, I get seasick).

But there is of course more to my desire for one of these rope hammocks than just celebrating what I've avoided by not going to sea. The wife has one you see (bought as a present by her ever so caring husband) and while she rather enjoys it she insists that is is in fact hers. Presents are just that presents, and they shouldn't be things which are subsequently shared. As I've not been able to get her to buy me one as a present then I'll just have to buy my own, right? Although, and I'm sure this is the way these things work, if I buy one for myself then that's not a present, so my wife will be able to use it too.

But more than these trivial if interesting domestic tales, there is a proper reason for wanting to get a fabric hammock. Two in fact. One is that we've just about finished sorting out the garden in this new to us house. And this house is in a nice warm climate. So there's definitely time and a place to lie outside and soak up the glory of God's green countryside. But there's also more than that: the new puppy seems to have a lot more terrier in it than we first thought it would. It will not be possible therefore to simply lie on a blanket: one would get one's toes nibbled. Thus something suspended in the air, whether on a frame or simply between trees, will be necessary for the proper enjoyment of that oh so necessary afternoon nap.

And thus, a hammock.

Melodee Hanes Photo

It's not easy to find a photo of Melodee Hanes on the internet you know: but we've managed it.

This Melodee Hanes picture was taken back in 2002, when Melodee Hanes was just finishing her job as Deputy County Attorney and going off to work for the re-election campaign of Senator Max Baucus.

As we know, Melodee Hanes then went on to become the Senator's girlfriend (some call her mistress, which has rather unkind implications) and now lives with him in Washington DC.

Well, anyway, here's the Melodee Hanes pic:

Tiger Woods is horrible in bed claim

This is fascinating little piece of gossip. According to a friend of Jaimee Grubbs (more likely, a friend of a friend who has once seen her across a darkened room but still) Tiger Woods is horrible in bed.

That's something of a claim to make about him, it has to be said: when he's rumoured to have been fathering children on his wife and at the same time running three separate mistresses. Still, it is also true that effort expended and frequency don't necessarily correlate with skill in the bedroom arts.

This really is turning into a season for Tiger though, that has to be said. Firstly there's the claims that he didn't crash the car at all, that it was Elin, his wife, who had a) beaten him up and then b) was chasing him down hte street whacking the car with a golf club. Then there's the mistress number one (alleged) who denies it all but then flies to LA to give a (postponed or cancelled) press conference. Mistress number two (she says, he doesn't) says he's horrible in bed and mistress number 3 (claimed, not admitted by either) is out there too. Along with claims of drug taking.

So, just how does Tiger get himself out of this mulch? Paying his wife $5 million is what it is rumoured that Tiger has done so far. We'll have to wait and see how well that works, won't we?

The Tiger Woods scandal

This Tiger Woods scandal seems to be getting larger and larger. Just today we have the following:

Rachel Uchitel has called a press conference (just a couple of hours to go now!) at which it is expected that she will withdraw her earlier denial of having had an affair with Tiger Woods and in fact confirm it.

We've had rumours out of Florida that Erin Nordegren has been given a payoff and that further, her prenup is about to be made much more favourable to her.

We've had in Slate an explanation of why Tiger seems so intent on not saying much about the accident: because just about anything he might say could put his wife in jail.

This is all shaping up really well, don't you think? This Tiger Woods scandal?

Are umbrellas for sunshine or rain?

So here's a question: is a patio umbrella something that is meant for when the sun is shining and you want some shade or is it for when the sun isn't shining and you want shelter from the rain? Given my English background but now my living in a warm climate (at last!) I get a little conflicted upon this point. For of course in an English summer an umbrella is something that you erect in the certain knowledge that there will be rain as soon as you bring the tea out: while in warmer climes it's the sun that one is worried about, heatstroke and the like.

So when looking for an outdoor umbrella I'm never quite sure what it is that I should be looking for. Or I'm conflicted about what I should be looking for is perhaps better. Should I be checking for waterproofness? Or the ease with which it can be altered so as to follow the movements of the sun? Am I more concerned about toughness, the ability to keep me dry when battered by the winds and the rain or should I be more concerned with whether the fabric will fade in the sun? Perhaps I should put aside childish worries and simply concentrate on the climate I face now? Well, yes, but old habits die hard, don't they?

So this is where my search for an outdoor patio umbrella has got me: musing on on the complexes my childhood has left me with. What of course I should be doing is, as above, concentrating on the idea that I now live in a warm climate and thus should be looking for shade from the sun. The rain here arrives with the regularity of the calendar, not the on/off minute by minute happenings of England. So that picture there shows what I think I'm going to plump for. It wouldn't be all that much good against rain, not enough coverage on the sides to stop the wind whipping the water under it. But it does perform the job, admirably, of keeping the sun off.

Custer's Revenge

Hahaha....this is a great little story. Custer's Revenge was one of the early computer video games and it was really rather incredibly lame.

Seriously, incredibly lame in fact. It wasn't just the incredibly blocky graphics and the entirely minimal gameplay, it was the very premise of the game which was terrible too:

In the game, the player controls the character of General George Armstrong Custer, depicted as a man wearing nothing but a cavalry hat, boots, and a bandana, sporting a visible erection. Custer has to overcome arrow attacks to reach the other side of the screen. His goal is to have intercourse with a naked, large-breasted Native American woman, named "Revenge."

In fact it was so bad that Atari, who made the machine it was played on, sued the games writer for bringing their machine into disrepute.

I was involved in the games business, years ago, and I have to say that I never got involved in anything quite as bad as that (I should also point out that I never got involved with something quite as successful as this game. They shifted 80,000 units so I'm told). At first we were working on simply taking games designed for the Commodore Amiga and then cutting them down so that they would work on hte Commodore 64. It wasn't all that hard work: we were using E European programmers who were used to working with really little memory so they got the grasp of it very quickly indeed.

Then we moved on to more complex things: like we took the DOS version of Another World and turned it into a Windows game. It was said that this was impossible but we did manage it and it sold quite well. After that, as games got bigger and nigger, we ended up having to subcontract for smaller parts. Things like animating the figures in ClayFighter. All good fun and it all earned money but it wasn't quite as fun as it had been when we were doing full games.

But to have the manufacturer suing you because the game is so bad?

Now that's got to hurt, doesn't it? More on Custer's Revenge at the link.

Getting that outdoor kitchen together

I I think I may have mentioned it before around here, that we're in the process of getting this pair of houses together down here in the warmth where we are. And I think I might also have mentioned that we've pretty much got the houses together and are now working on things like furnishings and the garden. Which leads me on to the subject of outdoor kitchens. For where we are we are indeed very much in the warmth and thus have the luxury of being able to cook and eat outside for the majority of the year.

But if we're to furnish an outdoor kitchen we do have to decide just what it is that we're going to use to furnish it. And before we even decide that we need to think about what level of technology we want to use. Now, given where we are, in this warmth, we don't in fact have central heating. For the couple of months of the year that we do want to have some form of heating we've got log burners. Very nice and efficient cast iron ones, thank you. But what that means is that we've also of course got a supply of wood to burn in them: so perhaps we should be equiping our outside catering facilities with compatible technology?

Or perhaps we shouldn't be? Perhaps we should in fact be going in the opposite direction and using high tech gear for our kitchen? Something like one or other of these stainless steel grills perhaps? Certainly, it's easier to cook on gas than it is over wood: but then again you don't get quite the same smokey flavor that way. Or should I be thinking that if we've already got two wood stoves (one of which is indeed a top loader and thus possible to grill on) then the last thing we need is another one? And that this argues in favor of the gas technology?

Hmm, not the easiest of questions to answer really. Perhaps I should just let my wife make the decision: it's not as if I'm going to be doing any of the cooking anyway now, is it?

Jaimiee Grubbs: the second of Tiger Woods' affairs

News is coming fast now about Tiger Woods' affairs.

The first allegation was of course that he was banging Rachel Uchitel, an allegation that she fiercely deneis. The second into the frame is Jaimiee Grubbs, who says she's been dallying with Tiger for ages:

Jaimee Grubbs, 24, a Las Vegas cocktail waitress, tells this week’s edition of Us Weekly magazine that she had a 31-month affair with Woods, starting in April 2007, and that she has more than 300 text messages — some of them described as “racy” — to prove it.

The magazine invites readers to log on to its website today to listen to a voicemail that Woods allegedly left Ms Grubbs on Tuesday of last week, “in which he suggests his wife might suspect he is having an affair”.

This isn't the most solid of proofs of course as Jaimiee Grubbs came out of the woodwork afterthe magazine offered $150,000 to anyone who had proof od such a Tiger Woods affair....that sort of money might well tempt those who were but it's now unknown for such rewards to tempt those who were not of course.

No dooubt we'll find out more soon enough. There's more on this story here.

Kalika Moquin: the third of Tiger Woods' affairs

Poor old Tiger Woods and his affairs. Now the floodgates seem to have opened. Kalika Moquin is the third person in the roster of Tiger Woods' affairs.

The first of Tiger Woods' affairs was supposedly with Rachel Uchitel: she denies it all very strongly. Then there was Jaimiee Grubbs who stepped forward when a magazine offered $150,000 for those with proof of an affair with Tiger Woods.

And now we seem to have an admission from tiger Woods that he has been doing something wrong. Now quite a straight admission of Tiger Woods affairs, rather, an admission of "transgressions" which he will work to overcome.

But back to Kalika Moquin:

But Kalika Moquin is not ready to kiss and tell. "It's not appropriate for me to comment one way or the other," Moquin told Life & Style magazine.

"At this time, I'm just choosing to focus on my job."

Moquin, a hot brunette marketing manager for The Bank nightclub in Las Vegas, hooked up with Woods more than once at his Las Vegas hotel during the weekend of Oct. 23, the magazine reported.

They cited "an insider" as its source. "They've hooked up a bunch of times," Life & Style's unnamed source said.

"Tiger told Kalika that married life isn't all it's built up to be. He said he wasn't happy in his marriage or his home life and that there was just so much pressure on him."