December 13, 2006
The Horror, The Horror
From the annals of The Anorak:
Miss Clarke lives in Bristol. She works in Bath. She is as British as warm beer, hoodies and kebabs in curry sauce. And one day she work up and started talking in French.
She called around her pals and invited them to visit her in Paris.
But she was in the West Country. And suspecting something amiss, Louise’s sister took her to see he doctor.
There, the finest French medical minds realised she was suffering from Susac’s syndrome, a condition that causes the immune to system to attack healthy tissue. And so it was that healthy British flesh was under siege from the French.
The Mail delivers a brief history of Susac’s syndrome. We learn it was named after Dr John Susac. We learn that the condition can cause the sufferer to develop “bizarre and paranoid behaviour.”
And what is being French to Mail readers but that?
Well, quite, what great horror could there be than for a daughter of John Bull's finest becoming French?
PETA has a group called the Lettuce Ladies who demonstrate against the eating of animals. Perhaps they might have bitten off more than they can chew when they started demonstrating in Kazakhstan:
Two British animal rights campaigners clad in nothing more than bikinis made of lettuce leaves braved freezing temperatures on Tuesday to urge the people of Kazakhstan to stop eating horses and go vegetarian.
As the putative homeland of fictional TV reporter Borat, the vast and formerly nomadic Central Asian state has risen to prominence in recent months, leading People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) to ask them to stop eating meat.
"Whereas Borat is ridiculing the country, we're trying to come here with a positive message," Yvonne Taylor, 35, told Reuters. "We're saying that going vegetarian is the best thing people can do for their health and to stop animals suffering."
Kazakhstan's national cuisine is almost entirely meat-based. Horse sausage and boiled sheep's head are delicacies while lamb and offal are part of the staple diet.
To give you an example of quite how awful the food is there even the Russians think it is foul.
However, I have to admit that judging by these two lettuce ladies, skimpy bikinis or not, they're not going to change the minds of many Kazakhs.
December 12, 2006
Now here's something I didn't know about Nicole Richie:
NICOLE Richie stares out from the page.
Richie is the American famous for being the adopted daughter of singer Lionel Richie, 5ft 1in small and so light she can fall to the ground like a autumn leaf.
The Mirror says Nicole has a body mass index of 16.1. What this means we have no idea, and we can only speculate on its legality and how it impairs her driving.
As the paper reports, this vision of skin, bone and hair has been pinched by the police for driving the wrong way down a motorway in Los Angeles.
Adopted? Still, after her arrest she admitted to smoking cannabis, taking Vicodin and in general being a wild or problem child.
Still, driving the wrong way down an LA freeway? How in hell did she survive that?
Oh, this is just too cruel, this description of Sienna Miller:
PROFESSIONAL girlfriend Sienna Miller looks thoughtful.
Cruel, yes, but not entirely innapropriate. Can anyone actually say they've seen a film she appears in? After Jude Law went off with the Nanny, Sienna Miller then moved on to a quickie with Daniel Craig, the new Bond.
What then, after that? As the Anorak points out, perhaps she should move up to A list actors?
And we begin with A. A is for Leonardo Di Caprio, Matt Damon, George Clooney..
Or is that just being cruel again?
December 11, 2006
Kendra Jade Picture
Kendra Jade seems to have been the woman that Kevin Federline was leaping into bed with when he was cheating on Britney Spears. Here she is, not quite family friendly but rather more clothed than she often is at work.
From the report in The Anorak comes this wonderful line:
For her part, Kendra Jade just says: “I am in a committed relationship.”
I guess if that's the end of the film industry you work in you can say such things and still do this:
A source tells us: “Kevin Federline and Kendra Jade had sex in their friend’s apartment multiple times.” As for romance, Kendra Jade and Kevin Federline are described as “just friends who have sex”.
Britney Spears Sex Video
A wonderful report from The Anorak on the latest news about the Britney Spears Sex Video:
SHOULD Britney Spears’s X-rated video, the one she is said to have
co-produced with Kevin Federline make it to the sticky end of the DVD
bargain bucket, what will it be called?
Britney’s friend Paris Hilton’s work with lips, teeth and tissues became One Night In Paris. What about Britney Speared? Sh*g Me Baby One More Time? Or Face Down, Ass Up 2?
It appears that Kevin Federline, who of course takes the second starring spot in that Britney Spears Sex Video, has been consorting with someone else with knowledge of the sex video business:
The magazine has learned that one month before divorce papers were
served, K-Ferret was embroiled in a “sex-fueled (sic) affair” with one
Kendra Jade, star of the aforesaid Face Down Ass Up 2.
Kendra has also appeared in Beach Bunnies With Big Brown Eyes 5 and Boss Bitches 16.
It is immediately clear to one and all that Kendra is a girl not averse to a sequel. For her, following Britney will be no difficult matter. Hell, she may even manage it three, four or seventeen times.
This I find very funny indeed:
For her part, Kendra just says: “I am in a committed relationship.”
Well, I guess if you're working at that end of the film industry being in such a committed relationship might in fact include this sort of behaviour:
As for romance, Kendra and Kevin are described as “just friends who have sex”.
December 08, 2006
Britney Spears: No Underwear
Britney Spears says she probably did take it a little too far going out without her underwear recently:
Britney Spears -- back in the headlines for partying every night and ditching her underwear -- admitted on Thursday that she "probably did take my new found freedom a little too far."
But in a posting on her Web site, the "Oops! I did it again!" singer said she was "just getting started" and said she was looking forward to a "new year, new music and a new me".
In a reference to the furor caused by photos showing her wearing no underpants under her miniskirts on at least three occasions last month, Spears wrote "Thank God for Victoria's Secrets' new underwear line!"
Spears, who turned 25 last weekend, has raised eyebrows by hitting the all-night party circuit with her new best friend, socialite Paris Hilton, shortly after filing for divorce from husband Kevin Federline. The former teen pop princess gave birth to the couple's second son in September
Yup, I'd say flashing it like that probably is just a bit too far.
Beyonce Marrying Jay-Z?
Although this rumour has been denied, that Beyonce will be marry Jay-Z, who can be sure?
Is it just a celebrity birthday bash, or a smoke screen for a secret wedding between two of the hottest talents in the recording industry -- Beyonce and Jay-Z?
A spokesman for the R&B songstress on Thursday denied reports surfacing in gossip columns and the Internet this week that she and her rap star-turned-music executive boyfriend planned to quietly tie the knot this coming weekend.
A spokeswoman for Jay-Z told Reuters she had no knowledge of impending nuptials for the couple.
Beyonce, 25, who rose to fame as a charter member of the R&B group Destiny's Child, said recently that she and friends were merely planning a birthday party for Jay-Z, who turned 37 on Monday.
Now here's a surprise. Yoko Ono says she's not ready to forgive John Lennon's killer.
Yoko Ono has called for the anniversary of John Lennon's death to become a worldwide day of forgiveness but said she could not yet absolve her husband's killer.
"Every year, let's make December 8 the day to ask for forgiveness from those who suffered the insufferable," she said in full-page newspaper advertisements.
"To the people who have also lost loved ones without cause: forgive us for having been unable to stop the tragedy."
She thanked all those who wrote to her at this time every year to say they were thinking of her and her husband.
Way to go Yoko, call for forgiveness and then refuse to forgive yourself. Can we say hypocrite everyone?
An amusing story here about Maria Eva, the Indonesian singer. Apparently she got down and dirty with a politician a couple of years ago and filmed the encounter on her mobile phone. She then lost the phone and it's now all over the net.
An Indonesian parliamentary committee intends to question a legislator over a video distributed on the Internet that appears to show him naked with a singer, the head of the committee said Wednesday.
The shaky, one-minute video that appears to show Yahya Zaini, a member of parliament from the country's biggest party, Golkar, with the woman has caused shock in Indonesia, the world's most populous Muslim country.
The woman who was naked in the video, Indonesian pop singer
Maria Eva, held a televised news conference in which she said she took the footage using her mobile phone.
She denied distributing the video on the Internet and said she had lost her mobile phone.
It's just this surveillance society isn't it? Getting ever more difficult to have that bit of illicit nookie.